PULSE: Why the title “The Courage to Change?”

LIPSCOMB: Because that has been the story of my journey for the last two years. One of the things I have found is that, as human beings, we have a comfort zone, and that we need to move out of that comfort zone to find the courage to change. By speaking I hope to help other people have the courage to change—without losing a son.

PULSE: Did your journey to oppose the war begin even before your son’s death in Karbala?

LIPSCOMB: At Christmas of 2002, before his death, my son shared with me something and asked me not to tell anyone—that he didn’t understand why we were going to Iraq. That started me questioning, too, but because my son was over there I was reluctant to say anything that would raise any discomfort for him.

Then, after he died, every day now I have to wake up and know that I didn’t do anything when I had the chance, and that if I had known all that things I know now about the war, that maybe he would be alive today. [The grief] is still just raw.

PULSE: Since your son’s death, have you become involved with any political groups or candidates?

LIPSCOMB: I have been trying to figure out all the times I have spoken out against the war, and there are more than 300 appearances around the world. I have worked with a lot of groups—The Americans Friends Service Committee, Peace Action, Move On, Military Families Speak Out. All these groups are all dear to me, but Military Families Speak Out has a special place in my heart—they were the first ones to wrap their arms around me after my son’s death.

I co-founded an organization called Gold Star Families for Peace, and we are about 30 families strong now. I understand you have a group locally called Mothers against Military Madness?

PULSE: Yes, Women Against Military Madness.

LIPSCOMB: Yes, I look forward to meeting some of them when I come to Minnesota. It will be nice to be home; my mother’s family all live in Minnesota still.

PULSE: What kinds of reactions have you gotten from your appearance in Fahrenheit 9-11 and your subsequent speeches? Do you find that most people agree with you, and have your received a lot of hate mail?

LIPSCOMB: Not at all—I was just sharing with someone that I feel that I have been protected and blessed. I have received only one hate letter. I can’t let that bother me—this is America, and they have the right to voice their opinions, just like I do.

When I speak, of course, most people in the audience agree with me, but even when they don’t, they can’t have too much hatred for me. I find that when people see me personally, they can argue about the war, but they can’t argue with my grief.

PULSE: What do you think are people’s most common misconceptions about the war?

LIPSCOMB: That it’s because of terrorism and weapons of mass destruction. Not so much in my audience, but in the United States in general. That is what people have been told, and that goes hand in hand with how we have been raised, that you have a certain trust in the commander-in-chief, that you do not disrespect the president. So a lot of people lose the idea of what America was built on, that we should debate issues and be a democracy.

I don’t need to trust someone who doesn’t deserve my trust. But for a long time we have let elected officials do and say what they want. I feel that the government is run by the lobbyists, and America was not founded for them. It was not founded for the people who are getting rich off my son’s blood.

I have a real problem going in and destroying people’s homes when there are so many people here who don’t have homes. I work with social services, and there are about 135,000 young people in Michigan with no school, no home and no work. How is that possible in this country?

Such young people are prime candidates for the recruiters. Those kids don’t have a good home, and you are spending billions putting them in the military and sending them to destroy other people’s countries.

PULSE: You have described yourself as a conservative, with many family members in the Armed Forces—you’re not the kind of anti-war speaker portrayed in the media. How do you think opponents of the war should reach out to the apolitical majority? What groups in the population do you think we need to reach out to more?

LIPSCOMB: I think it has to start with an individual. One individual can touch another individual, who can touch two more, who can touch two more. Sometimes I find myself with people who really support the president, with others sitting on the fence. I talk to the ones sitting on the fence, who might be open to talking more, not the people who have their minds made up; I find many times the ones who support the current administration really are not willing to come to the table at all, so I don’t spend any energy on it.

And if you are one of the people sitting on the fence, you need to find your own information, not the kind of thing the American media are focusing on. I get my news from BBC, truthout.org, Moveon.org and other sources, and I do a lot of research myself.

PULSE: Do you think Americans are doing the right thing tactically by marching in the streets, or are there other approaches you think would be more effective?

LIPSCOMB: I think that’s a good thing to do, because there is power in numbers. Martin Luther King proved this when he led the March on Washington. But we have to look at the decision makers. They are used to protests, they are used to having lots of people turn out to oppose them, and they have gotten good at managing that, with special protest areas and such.

But we have to go where they are. We have to go into Senate meetings and make ourselves seen and heard. We have to go to House meetings. We have to go to state legislature meetings. We have to go to city council meetings. We have to have good people run for office so we can have balance and hold them accountable, not just sit and let them make the decisions. We have to find out who the lobbyists are and who pays them, and to influence them.

PULSE: I’m always amazed how few people are aware that most major religions have condemned the war—Catholic, Lutheran, Episcopalian—and how few people make a connection between the peace movement and religion.

LIPSCOMB: Right. I know a lot of my religious friends might be upset that I’m saying this, but churches in this country have failed us for a very long time. They help us spiritually on Sunday, but they don’t always give us the tools we need to get through life Monday through Saturday. A lot of them want to be in the pulpit, coaching us and shouting encouragement. But Jesus didn’t stay in the pulpit. Churches are responsible for a lot of the problems we have in this country.

PULSE: What would you like to see churches do?

LIPSCOMB: Meet with people. Go to where they are. You have to live and be where the people are, not come into town and preach and then go home. Jesus did not live that way. I do spiritual meetings with people, and I try to love as Jesus loved. It sickens me to think of all the veterans in the vet hospitals that have been just thrown away by their country. A lot of good groups are doing a lot of good things in vet hospitals, but not enough.

I’m starting a program called Sweet Rewards, and you are the first media to hear about it. I was wondering what I could do for people injured in hospitals, and I thought, “If my son was alive, who better to comfort him than me? And if I can’t be there, what would be the next best thing?”

The program will organize moms or people who want to help—we all have some mom in us—and visit returning veterans in the hospital, bring them cookies, and listen. That’s something all returning veterans need to help to get the crap out of them.

I can’t even imagine what my son’s soul would have had to live with if he had survived this war, after seeing so many terrible things. I don’t want another generation of young people to have to live with that silently. And I absolutely refuse to have veterans come back and be abused the way so many were from Vietnam.

PULSE: Will you try to return to the White House?

LIPSCOMB: I don’t spend any energy on that. When people ask about the movie, everyone wants to know about that scene on the White House lawn, when that woman came up to me and said this was all staged.

I think my life was transformed at that moment. I literally saw myself shredding her to pieces, my anger was so great at that point. But I realized the anger inside me was not directed at her, and that it was not right to attack her.

I realized I had to be careful with my anger. If I allowed that anger to stay inside me it would destroy me. If I am destroyed, they win. I can’t be out here and be effective. So, as Scripture teaches, I have to forgive.

That lesson was put to the test when I woke up the morning of November 3, which was the hardest day of my life. My son was still dead, Bush was still at the White House, and nothing had changed. I spent two hours crying and screaming at my son’s grave that morning.

But things change quickly—I know from experience. Many others are changing the way they see the country, and the war. But no change will happen unless we work for it, so there’s no point giving up. ||

Lila Lipscomb will speak on “Courage to Change” at 7 p.m. Sat., July 30 and at 1 p.m. Sun., July 31 at the Black Dog Coffee and Wine Bar, 308 Prince St. (4th and Broadway in Lowertown), St. Paul. Attendees are encouraged to donate to the anti-war group Flour Power Rising. For more information call 651-228-9274. Lipscomb will be interviewed on Wendy Wilde’s radio program on 950 AM (Air America) at 10 a.m. Friday, and will help Flour Power sell baked goods outside the Black Dog Café from 7 a.m. to 12 p.m. Sunday.