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Twin Town High (vol. 8) |
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Christmas Around the World
Wednesday 20 December @ 21:08:55 |
  by MAX SPARBER
What’s that fellow doing in the Christmas creche? It’s a popular tradition in Catalonia to include a figure in a manger scene called the Caganer, a merry little fellow made of clay who is squatting in a dark corner and, well, relieving himself — an image believed to represent fertility, but, lately, also an opportunity for a little scatological satire. It is now possible to buy Caganers representing figures as lofty as the Pope and as base as Osama bin Laden, all producing their own surprising Christmas gift.
 And while we’re on the subject ... the Catalonians also celebrate Christmas with an adorable little log with a face painted on one end called the Tio de Nadal, which they beat with a stick while singing a merry melody whose lyrics include the following demand, translated literally: “If you don’t shit well, I’ll give you a blow with a stick.” After a few merciless spankings, the log produces hazelnuts and cheese from its backside.
Who is that with Santa? Well, if you’re in Germany, it’s probably Farmhand Ruprecht, a limping man with dark skin (once attributed to him being African, now credited to soot), who demands children perform for him. Children who perform badly or have been naughty are stuffed into Ruprecht’s sack and either stolen away to the Black Forest or simply tossed into a river. If you’re in Austria, Santa’s companion is even more menacing—the positively demonic Krumpuses, who travel in packs with St. Nick and are sometimes literally represented as devils. The krampuses don’t merely attack misbehaving children—they literally attack anyone they come across. The krampuses were the subject of Cameron Jamie’s short film Kranky Klaus, in which the artist dressed a half-dozen people as wild-haired beasts and had them randomly attack Christmas celebrants.
Who is that reciting poetry outside my window? Well, if you’re in Wales, it is the Mari Llwyd, and it’s a horse skull. This once popular tradition had mummers going from house to house with the skull of a horse on the end of a pike, peering in windows and chattering its teeth, leading to elongated and impromptu battles of wits where the horse skull and the inhabitants of the house would argue with each other in rhyme.
Who is that Christmas porridge for? Well, if this is Norway, then is must be for Fjøsnisse, a farm gnome who will become quite irate without an extra-large portion of Christmas porridge, and will take it out on the farm animals by playing cruel tricks on them.
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