QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

SONG OF THE WEEK: “What’s the Ugliest Part of Your Body?”
— The Mothers of Invention

Then, as now, the seeds of scandal had already been planted and were well on their way to coming to fruition (as my bad acid-trip recollection of the Ollie North hearings will attest to), and anybody (from either major party) who wasn’t a religious fanatic, a gun nut, an upper-crust polished turd, or a straight-out wack job, was against ol’ Dutch. I can remember railing against the administration (deja vu, whoa) at parties and bars; all of us confident that, just by being aware of the issues, daring to speak of them out loud, and baring our young, ignorant, drunken souls to the world at large, we’d somehow manage to subvert the inevitable and rid ourselves of this fascist scourge once and for all.

Of course, very few of us actually bothered to vote that year, and if we had, I don’t think we’d have known much about our choices. Not only were we actually gobbling some particularly wicked Hell’s Angels’ acid (don’t ask), but, in our haste to vanquish what we perceived to be the living embodiment of George Orwell’s “1984” nightmare come to life before our very eyes, we’d neglected to spend even the slightest amount of time studying any positive alternative solutions whatsoever. Talk about clueless. Thankfully, today’s youth has a lot less access to kick-ass LSD and a lot more access to information and helpful instruction about their voting choices. As this column goes to press, I can only hope that they, along with the conscientious artistic and intellectual communities, have exercised those options and made the change we once again so desperately need.

Writing this column without knowing the results of the 2004 race for U.S. President between incumbent “W” (representing another terrifying rise of the evil specter of corporate and global “Empire”) and Democratic runner John Kerry (a lesser-of-two-evils kinda guy who, although not as politically and personally as reprehensible as the Bush/Cheney team, is still just another multi-millionaire in a suit and tie making a grab for glory/and/or power) is a tough row to hoe. It’s hard (nigh unto impossible) in these trying times to sit back and pen light-hearted music and arts-related articles without at least nodding to the events unfolding around us. Looking back, I’ve mentioned politics more times in the past 11 months than I ever did in nearly five years of writing this column. That’s not because I’ve suddenly sobered up, gotten my priorities straight, and decided to contribute more to my fellow man, folks. I’m still the same fucked-up, sub-professional, dorky music geek I’ve always been, it’s just that I’d have to be absolutely soul-and-brain dead to ignore what may turn out to be the ultimate battle for the future of America—and in turn, the world.

I’ve got a good notion that we won’t really have a clear-cut winner for this election until at least a few days (and lawsuits) have come and gone, so I’ll hold off on celebration or depression, despite what the initial results are. I remember 2000—and how hurt and angry we were when we really, truly realized that, no matter what the American people wanted, things were going to be the way they were. That may or may not happen again this year. Regardless (and no matter what the eventual election results are), I figured the best I could do in the position I’m in is to just remind everyone that, whether your choice wins or someone else’s does, the most good you can really do is within your own neighborhoods, your own communities, your own families.

There’s nothing sadder than a political, religious or philosophical zealot who’s so involved with major events that he or she is able to walk with impunity past a starving homeless person on the street and do nothing. There’s no more pathetic a situation than an active community leader, clergy person or volunteer who’s neglected to check on the elderly couple living next door as they race around doing “good deeds.” And there’s nothing more heartbreaking (and potentially damaging to the very fabric of society) than the all-around nice guy Little League coach whose own son or daughter sinks into depression and despair due to neglect. Take care of your own, then worry about bigger things. That’s all any of us can do.

On that note, I’ll make a genuine effort here (to paraphrase my old chums Funkadelic in the classic cut “Maggot Brain”) to “rise above it all, or drown in my own shit ...” and present you all with a momentary diversion from the helter-skelter world of spin docs, documentary spins, pundits, politics and popular pop culture pabulum. A few days back, after scanning some useless news feeds online (the usual micro-clips that tell you a whole lotta nothing), I started to think about how ubiquitous the press’ chew-em-up and spit-em-out policy has become. And not just regarding politics, or local news or regional information.

The entertainment press is just as—if not more—guilty than any other faction of the biz of compacting, shrinking and spewing out the bare minimum of information whenever possible. And that’s not all. It seems to me (and I’ve actually been at this for awhile now) that we seem to just brush over a lot of the artists we go to so much trouble to bring to you in the first place. And if we do end up doing them justice the first or second time around, we seem to feel (is it just a “rock journalist” thing, or is it just that we, like the rest of the modern world, have absolutely no attention spans left whatsoever?) like once we’ve broken the news, we’ve done our parts once and for all, for ever and ever, and never have to speak of that subject/artist again.

Oh, sure, if somebody makes a big splash somewhere else, we’re quick to take credit for being the first to notice and write about said somebody, but what about when an artist just keeps on doing the great stuff you dug ‘em for in the first place? What if they’re still struggling, and working, and just doing their thing, and not getting rich and famous for it? Isn’t the day-to-day, real-life, waking world we live in an interesting enough of a place to report on, write about and update? Do our subjects ALWAYS have to have a new album out that week, or be playing a gig or tour? Anyway, I’m ranting again here. What I’m trying to say is that I’m guilty of this practice as well, and mean to start doing something about it right now. So in the spirit of continuity, and respect and genuine, honest concern and curiosity, here’s a special Round The Dial Update section on some of my fave musicians, artists, writers, poets and all-around artistic geniuses. We’ll call this one ...

HEY! WHAT THE HELL’S GOING ON WITH...

*Tom Siler, artist/multi-instrumentalist/Rod Stewart fan? Siler, who’s half of the successful St. Paul-to-New York rock cabaret outfit Tulip Sweet (As well as a founding member of a veritable cornucopia of successful acts like The Odd, Larme De Colere and King Of France), has had a busy summer traveling the country both playing music and running his highly successful caricature business. Currently, he’s back in Brooklyn, where Tulip keeps busy gigging, writing, and practicing.

A quick peek at the June 3rd entry to his online journal, Tom Siler’s Questionable Methods (go to http://www.tulipsweet.com and follow the links- and make sure to check out the caricatures, they’re inexpensive and great rock n’ roll-type gifts!), finds a typical Siler-ism up for perusal: A pissed-off rant about lousy DSL hook-ups in NYC, culminating in the heavy-handed statement, “I’m not coming back until October, and then I’m giving New York ONE MORE CHANCE to live up to its ridiculously overblown reputation as the greatest city in the world...”

Thankfully, the multi-talented singer/songwriter/musician seems to have found some serenity and inner peace during his summer travels, as this decidedly more upbeat affirmation from Oct. 25 reveals: “I browse the internet for weekend colleges a little. I do all kinds of things that may one day lead to a better direction. For instance, work as an independent contractor. I am a creation of habit, and earning a living is erratic due to seasonal occupations such as caricaturing. I’m always open to suggestions, when they are supportive and positive, and I always come up with new ideas. Amen, and thank you Universe.”

Hot rumor: A source close to the group tells the ‘Dial that Siler has abdicated his throne as a member of indie darlings King Of France. The band will apparently continue with a replacement. Siler was unavailable for comment, but the source says, “Tom still plays with a bus load of folks, so it’s no biggie ...” If it’s true, we say the loss is all KOF’s. Fortunately, Tulip Sweet the band is alive and well, and will surely perform again soon in the Twin Cities ...

*Exiled On Main Street? This kick-ass one-man local rock ’n’ roll lifestyle ‘zine, written and produced by one Bill Tuomala, remains, for my money, the coolest monthly rock read in town. I don’t think it can be said often enough in the local music press that we really, really, really need people like Bill and material like Exiled. This stuff is pure, unadulterated rock ’n’ roll pomp, prose and poetry, brought to you by a guy who’s proud to drink Schlitz beer, listen to hair metal, and spill his deepest, darkest thoughts once a month for nothing but the pure satisfaction of DOING IT. Hell, I’m pretty sure Bill actually has to put money out of his own pocket to get EOMS out, and that, folks, is dedication.

The funny thing about Bill is, he’s not really the guy (or he is, and it’s just that that guy only gets out on the written page ...) he sounds like from the above description. I mean, sure, he does drink Schlitz beer, but he’s not a “party animal” in any sense of the term. He’s actually a pretty shy guy who’s been known to go on at length in print (and to mention to me in several e-mails over the past few years) about how torn he feels between his need to experience live music and meet people and his inherent tendencies to squirrel away a 12-pack of beer and sit alone in his pad listening to music, watching sports, or writing, writing, writing.

And yeah, he’s been known to rant and rave in EOMS about the personal rewards involved in cranking Megadeth tunes to 11, but he’s also written reams about local, indie bands over the years, and recently printed a moving tribute to Ray Charles. And by his “deepest, darkest thoughts ...” I don’t necessarily mean he constantly sits around obsessing over himself, I mean he actually puts time and effort into researching and writing about far-out scientific theories like Trans-humanism and what The Mirage nightclub once meant to Twin Cities music fans. Heavy, man...and a bottle of bread. Anyhow, I thought you should know that issue #39 is up online at http://www.readexiled.com, where you’ll also find all the mag’s back issues as well as loads of other cool rants, raves and features. But don’t just read it and bookmark it—dig down and send Bill a five-spot, thereby guaranteeing many future (paper) issues in your mailbox and mine. SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL ART SCENE!!

GIG OF THE WEEK

A fantastic evening of art, music, and people-watching unfolds this Friday, Nov. 5, at The Speedboat Gallery in St. Paul’s Midway. Local impresario Paul D. and his merry band of art/punk outlaws present the paintings of Minneapolis artists/studio-mates Ed Charbonneau (celebrated mural-painter whose work appears at Fat Lorenzo’s Restaurant in Minneapolis and at the Grand Avenue location of St. Paul’s Ace Hardware store) and Jeremy Szopinski, who creates “collage”-style portraits from pieces of many other portraits. Musical guests include Anahadanada and the minimalist sounds of Semiconductor. Always an experience to remember. 7 p.m., all-ages. SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL ART SCENE!!

Well, that about does it for this session, gang. I’ll be featuring more Updates in this space soon, as well as CD and DVD reviews you’re gonna go wild for! In the coming weeks, we’ll check out classic Sweet, Dee Dee Ramone, Iggy & The Stooges, The Summer People, Steve Kilbey’s (ex-The Church) Isidore, The Blood Shot, a pair from John Frusciante and loads more. Hope of hopes that this coming week brings good news (see “Quote Of The Week”), and that next time ‘round we’ll all be in a more solid frame of mind. In the meantime, now more than ever is the time to take the age-old, sage advice I’ve been layin’ on you at the close of this column for half a decade or so- get on out there and make yer own damn news!! ||

If you have local music news, gigs, CDs you’d like to see mentioned in this column, or you’d just like to share your recent Election Day experiences, send replies to: (temporary e-mail) jamescrouch_1@juno.com.