St. Patrick’s Day Ceili
@ Randolph Heights Elementary

Join Minnesotans for a United Ireland tonight for their annual St. Patrick’s Day Ceili. Hear great music by local Irish sensation The Blackbirds, learn to stepdance from local expert Mike Whalen, celebrate Irish culture, and support the continued march down the road to a Free and United Ireland. Enjoy a fun, smoke-free and alcohol-free event perfect for kids and families and over in time for a last pint at the pub. 7-10 p.m. $8 for 18+ ($1 off with food shelf donation). Randolph Heights Elementary School, 348 South Hamline Ave., St. Paul. 612-871 8110. (Mark Connor)

Sworded Tales & Spirit Treks
@ Southern Theater

There aren’t a lot of opportunities to catch Asian American Theatre, not even the giants like playwright Frank Chin and actor Soon-Tek Oh. That doesn’t mean, however, that the talent isn’t out there. See for yourself in the artistry of Maria Cheng. Writer-performer Cheng has appeared at major international festivals across four continents and has had her work described by the N.Y. Times as “… wickedly funny … exquisitely crafted.” National Public Radio says Cheng “may well be one of the best dramatic dancers working today. She’s a dance company unto herself.” In addition to which, Cheng has performed as a featured soloist with choreography legend Bill T. Jones. She has something new to offer, “Sworded Tales & Spirit Treks,” a touring show that briefly sets down in the Twin Cities. Southern Theater says, “What do Johnny Unitas, ecstatic sex, Szechuan cuisine, Kubla Khan, a Chinese Barbie doll and sword/saber martial arts have to do with spirituality? Come and see Maria Cheng in her newest solo work as she weaves tai-chi forms, storytelling, singing, stir-fry cooking, modern dance and stand-up comedy into a 75-minute tour de force! This work addresses the yearnings for the transcendent and the all too common and comical pitfalls of a spiritual life, as pursued by a Chinese-American choreographer, playwright, actor, daughter, sister and lover!” Works for me. Thu. Mar. 18 & Sat. Mar. 20, 8 p.m.; Sun. Mar. 21, 7 p.m. $17. Southern Theater, 1420 Washington Ave. S., Mpls. 612-340-1725. (Dwight Hobbes)

The Queen of Block E
@ Red Eye

America 2033: Technology has united public safety and convenience. Wrist-embedded computer chips make your financial, criminal, psychiatric and medical history (plus, product preferences!) available anytime, anywhere ... except, for the rag-tag resisters called “Chicklets.” Rejecting chips, living as counter-cultural, sensual survivalists, they are led by a Super Sheroe, Jane. B. Doe, title character of “The Queen of Block E.” Written by, co-directed by and starring Heidi Arneson, “Queen” is an adult comic book/futuristic fable extrapolating current realities: “Security State,” corporate influence on schools, mass consumerism, sexual repression/commodification. Video, dance & engaging cast—especially David Otto Simanek as the public-relations’ creation President who discovers his hidden emotional life. Hilarious, haunting and hopeful with an alternative WMDs: weapons of mass desire. Mar. 18 – 21. $7-$10. Thu. - Sat. 8 p.m.; Sun. 7 p.m. Red Eye Theatre, 15 W. 14th St., Mpls. 612-870-0309. (Lydia Howell)

The Love of Everything
@ The Triple Rock Social Club

Bobby Burg (aka the Love of Everything) can’t carry a tune in a bucket—but that hasn’t stopped from collaborating with Chicago music scene notables, mounting European tours or releasing records (his latest, Total Eclipse of the Heart, is TLE album No. 4). An excellent example of passion over precision, Burg’s unsteady voice (ready to move from a whisper to an off-key shriek in the bat of an eye) is captivating and ideal for the fractured off-kilter folk-pop he crafts. Besides, lines like “the pawns are played and I’m designed to die” were definitely designed for singing in a shaky voice. With headlining act Joan of Arc, JOA spin off group Make Believe and Twin Ion. 9 p.m. $7. 21+. 629 Cedar Ave. S., Mpls. 612-333-7399. (Nathan Dean)

U-Joint
@ The Turf Club

A few weeks ago at the Turf Club, the guys in U-Joint and myself were joking about their name. While they laughed it off as being rather unexciting, I explained that it’s user friendly, even utilitarian. It’s easy to say. U know what i mean? Sometimes being too clever with a band name can come at the expense of linguistic articulation, and if they really wanted to be droll they could change it to Uh...Joint? But what’s in a name? Anyhow, the boys are ready to unveil the third and final installment of their Short Attention Span Series of EP’s entitled Emotional Baggage Handler. I think it’s a pretty good idea to miniaturize to the fun-size with short, sweet snippets as opposed to tackling an epic tome. I mean hats off to Homer, but why do you think they invented the haiku? Because it’s user friendly, even utilitarian. Hey, did I already say that? Opening their latest tidbit is “Bits and Pieces” in which guitarist/singer Jeff Schuller’s vocal resembles an early Black Francis. “The Devil Went Down to Wal-Mart” is a full-on agitated punk spinoff of the Charlie Daniels yarn that proves the owner of said retail chain shits where he eats or vice versa. Joining U-Joint at the Turf will be their good buddies Rank Strangers and Grickle-Grass who make the night’s theme universal-quality local garage rock in a user friendly setting. Cheers and get in gear. 9 p.m. $4. 21+. The Corner of University and Snelling Avenues, St. Paul. 651-647-0486. (Donny Doane)

If Thousands
@ The Acadia Theater

Amidst the constant bustle of the Twin Cities music scene it’s all too easy to forget about the equally special scene currently happening in Duluth. Fortunately northern musical visionaries If Thousands are coming down for a weekend of shows to remind us all yet again. The mostly instrumental brainchild of Aaron Molina and Christian McShane, If Thousands recently released a collaborative LP with equally adventurous locals A Whisper in the Noise (2D) and will no doubt also be playing tunes off their 2002 mindbender Yellowstone, which placed lazy-eyed Joy Division covers (“Isolation”) alongside lengthy ambient experiments (“We Sent H.L.R.E.”). 2D comes packaged in an elaborate wood-carved case that has set the standard for looking cool and being unwieldy enough to possibly give you a splinter if not careful. Pick up this limited edition release while you can because something tells me these boys won’t be going back to shop class anytime soon to come up with the next batch of 100. With GST & Paul Metzger of TVBC. 8 p.m. $5 All Ages. 1931 Nicollet Ave. S., Mpls. 612-874-8702. Also on Sun. 3/21 With Kid Dakota and Mimosas Peloria at the Dinkytowner Café. 6 p.m. $5. All Ages. 412 ½ 14th Ave. SE, Mpls. 612-362-0427. (Rob van Alstyne).

The Creek Dippers
@ The Cedar Cultural Center

Mark Olson is probably still best known in these parts as the founder and former leader of the Jayhawks (leaving the band at the height of their commercial success back in 1995) but he’s been plenty busy since relocating to the California desert with wife and fellow esteemed folk musician Victoria Williams. Olson’s latest recording endeavor is Political Manifest, a pointed and direct response to the current presidential administration. Songs like “Poor Sick America” and “End of the Highway Rumsfeld” are boldly confrontational (sample lyric: “That’s the end of the highway Rumsfeld / You’re a silly man with a pocket full of mumbles / How many tanks were there to meet Stalin? / I wonder if they’d even have you”). A tried and true talent, Olson’s pledged to be on the road until election time getting his message to the people—here’s hoping he finds receptive ears. 7 p.m. $12 adv/$15 door/$10 student rush with ID. 416 Cedar Ave. S., Mpls. 612-338-2674. The Creek Dippers will also be doing a free in-store performance at Tree House Records on Mon., 3/22. 7 p.m. All Ages. 2557 Lyndale Ave. S., Mpls. 612-872-7400. (van Alstyne)

Eyedea & Abilities
@ The 7th St. Entry

The most celebrated Twin Cities rap group this side of Atmosphere, Eyedea & Abilities are ready for their shot at the big time with the pending national release next week of E & A (the second Rhymesayers release licensed for distribution through Epitaph). Renowned freestyle battle master Eyedea handles the emceeing and Abilities works the turntables—each is in total command of his chosen instrument and the results are staggering. The entirety of E & A is a mix of hyper-kinetic rhymes and sexy scratches guaranteed to get heads spinning. Minnesota Hip-Hop heads have loved Eyedea & Abilities for years of course, now it’s time for the rest of the world to join in. With Brother Ali, Sense of Sound and DJ Nikoless. 5 p.m. $8 adv/$10 door. All Ages. 701 First Ave. N., Mpls. 612-338-8388. Again at 9 p.m. $8 adv/$10 door. 21+. (DJs Spin Fat Beats)

Root City Band
@ First Avenue

Alex Rossi likes to keep learning: that’s part of why his group, the Root City Band, remains completely unpredictable on stage and in the recording studio. The bands blues heartbeat is nicely rounded out by timely injections of a rock and soul, and it’s this calculated instability that makes Root City Band so special. These guys coordinate their roles so well that if you notice a mistake in a beat, you may have to second guess yourself and wonder if it wasn’t intentional. Their new CD, A Many Too Few, is full of that bluesy/soulful material evocative of the late 1970s. It’s the sort of stuff you hear in Quentin Tarantino movies. “Kill Bill 2” soundtrack anyone? With The Scott Morrison Band, Flavor and Johnnyrook. 8 p.m. $3 adv/ $6 door. 21+. 701 First Ave. N., Mpls. 612-338-8388. (Louis Lenzmeier)

How much of your taxes go to the least discussed “corporate welfare”: war profiteering? As millions of dollars are cut from schools, healthcare, homeless shelters and veterans, how many hundreds of millions more are spent on more depleted uranium (DU) missiles, planes and landmines? William Hartung can tell you. Hartung is a World Policy Institute fellow and Director of the Arms Trade Resource Center with a new book: “How Much Money Did You Make On The War, Daddy?” (Previous books include: “And Weapons For All” and “Welfare For Weapons Dealers”). Hartung is also an activist-scholar with a highly developed sense of humor, who does stand-up comedy. Halliburton isn’t the only corporation getting “sweetheart deals.” Minnesota has our own war-profiteer: Alliant Tech, making DU weapons and landmines. You can get the lowdown on corporate Grand Theft under the guise of “defense” at two events: Talk and William Hartung’s comedy. Tue. Mar. 23: “Talk.” 7 p.m. Free. Hamline University, Conference Center, Room 106, on Pascal (btwn Hewitt and Englewood), St. Paul 612-633-4410; Wed. Mar. 24: “Disarming Humor: How I Learned To Stop Worrying About G.W. Bush and Start Worrying About Donald Rumsfeld.” 7 p.m. $10 / sliding scale. United Methodist Church, 511 Groveland Ave. (@ Lyndale), Mpls. 612-823-6921. (Howell)